Thankful

We started our Thanksgiving day by running the 5k or 10k at the Bountiful Rec Turkey trot.  We had a lot of fun and both John's took third place in their division in the 10k.  They each won a pie.  The rest of us ran the 5k together. 

Ryan planned it so we ran with their family, Jolie's family, and Sean's brother's family.  It really was a fun way to start the day.

My mom went to our house to put the turkey in the oven and kept Leah.  By the time I got to the end of the race, she was there.  It was cute.  I put Leah in the empty stroller I was pushing (because Sam decided to run the whole thing) and she finished the race with me.

Little John running in.  He is in the gold shorts on the right.

Big John running in.

All the kids.

All of us!!

Just us.

Thanksgiving was then celebrated at our house.  Matt and Maureen and their family joined us.  It was fun to have them with us.  Matt said we just wanted a real Thanksgiving with Indians.  My family loved having them over.

Some of the kids at the kid table.

And little John.  he spent the entire day in front of the tv.  He even took his Thanksgiving dinner down there.  I was NOT happy with him on this day. 

I had fun making party favors and put them on each plate.

Someone scooped potatoes and never ate them.  They were stuck to this plate and the gravy wasn't going anywhere.

Until someone decided to make thanksgiving dinner on John's head.  It was pretty funny. 

We had a nice day.  After dinner, the boys watched sports and the girls sat around the table chatting and looking at the ads.  My family loved having Matt and his family with us.

i don't know how to differentiate between anything. 
yes.  it's part just the stress of christmas.
i KNOW every year that i NEED lights up, gifts bought and wrapped and the house decorated BEFORE dec. 1. 
before chrismtas even started, i was complaining about the need i have to NOT procrastinate.  i can't handle it.
and i come by it honestly.  my mom has everything wrapped by october and jolie is the same way.  it's just the way i am and i don't think there is anything wrong with it. 
it seems the more i try to simplify life, the more out of control it gets.  i can not believe how busy we are all the time and that is only with two kids playing jr. jazz and on the same night.
PIANO!!  GUITAR!! what do we do about those.  our kids will not focus themselves.
maybe i need to just flat out say we are done.  to all of them.  that is REALLY hard for me because i so desperately want my kids to play.  I LOVE to listen to them practice.  I LOVE IT.  but no matter how hard i encourage, try, or yell, they don't care. 
even with jack, i feel like he is missing something.  every week i think he needs to be in some sort of music lessons.  i have felt many times that thomas doing piano is going to help him learn to focus.  i see such benefits from it and I love it.  I want to own a baby grand one day and have my kids be able to sit down and play.  i want emily to reach her potential with guitar but she doesn't seem to care to reach that potential.  same with john.  i really feel he has a talent for it but he doesn't put forth the effort or the time.
having said all that, i think the right thing to do is STOP lessons for all of them and tell them if they are serious about playing, they can let us know and then put forth the effort needed.
if they quit, emily said gaylene won't be taking new students anymore and i know brenda would not teach or would fill in their slots.  so if they quit they lose out on those teachers.
but it's got to be done.  it has to be their choice to play.  not mine. 
the no tv or video games before homework, clean rooms, and jobs rule is GREAT and it needs to be the rule.  but once again, my mothering skills prevent me from just having rules and following through with them.
why did jolie and ryan get the skills we were taught growing up and i didn't.  my mom made us work.  we did our homework without a big issue and i played the piano and practiced because I WANTED IT not because i was forced. 
things have got to be different but i don't know how we are going to do it.
we've tried for years and nothing works.
even with reading scriptures.
we can't get up early because nobody can get to bed early and our kids don't care.

life is good.
mothering is hard.
BUT the best thing ever too.

"Shes my sister"

When I was in high school, I wanted to go somewhere with my friends.  I don't remember where.  A trip?  I don't know.  What I do remember is my dad asking Jolie if she thought I should get to go.  I expected the worst but instead her answer was "yes.  She should get to go."  My dad asked her why and she said "because I didn't get to and wish I had."
Wow.  How's that for a sister.  She didn't want revenge or to feel fairness.  She wanted me to have what she didn't get.
Thank you Jolie. 
This is handy tonight to teach my own kids who I can hear downstairs squabbling about fairness.
I love you!!!!

simplify
love more
quietly and with love
laugh
have more fun

Stuff and stuff

John had an English project due today.  He's known about it for weeks but the last two weeks has said every day that he has no homework.  Every day I have asked about projects coming up and his ongoing vocabulary words for his AP Geography class.  I encourage like crazy to get stuff done early.

So Monday he finally decided to get to work on it.  This morning his comment to me was "it took 10 hours to put together a 7 minute video".  I asked if he thought it would take 7 minutes to put together a 7 minute video.  It makes me want to cry.  Cry because I've warned him for two weeks that he can't put it off until the last minute and cry because it took all the time I didn't have the last two days to work with him to get it done.  He needed his siblings help which made them up until 11 last night and another reason I'm ready to burst into tears.....I was up until 2.  Then Leah came into our room and rolled all over the place and kept crying.  Finally at 4:30, I took her into her room and rocked her for a while.  Then I got to sleep until 6 something at which point, I kept asking everyone to wake me up "in 5 minutes".  Finally after I heard a loud thud in the kitchen (last nights dinner fell out of the fridge), I jumped up and have been up since, running kids to school, to the store to finish up the project, and now with Leah.  My eyes are starting to hurt and my head is starting to hurt.  HA!  I just answered the phone and forgot to say Hello.

Anyway, the project is done and posted above.  He presents it today and I am so glad it's done.  I hope and pray he has learned his lesson in NOT putting things off.  Life is so much better and relaxing when we just get things done.  I need all of my kids to learn this.

Emily tried out for the jr. high basketball team.  She made first cuts and felt good about it but didn't make the team.  John emailed the coach to ask what she needs to work on and the coach sent back a great letter.  John and I want to read the letter to our kids and have them think about what they want to do most then encourage them to put forth the effort needed on their part and our part.  You know, during all the time having babies, I was not able to do things for my kids like I needed to and wanted to.  It's amazing now how so many things I use to be able to do, are now coming back to me and it feels good.  For so many years, I felt like I lost so much of who I was/am.  Turns out it was just shelved for a while and is slowly and naturally making it's way back into my life.  I'm thankful for that.

Back to Emily.....she tried out for Volleyball, then two solos in choir, then Basketball.  She made first cuts/call backs each time but never made it completely.  She kept moving forward with a good attitude and wasn't giving up but last night for the first time, we saw that it took a little out of her.  It breaks our hearts but we'll continue to encourage her to keep trying.  One day, in some way, her ability to not give up and keep trying will pay off.

Why is it that December is so busy?  With school, work, parties, projects, recitals, etc. etc. etc. the month fills up so quickly.  I was hoping for more down time but am amazed at how our days fill up so quickly.  Tonight we have 5 places to be at 7:00.  Emily guitar, Jack a game, the cannery, little John a college night at the Jr. High and me a primary meeting.  We have somehow figured out how to make it work.  I just hope it really does.  Then MAYBE we can all get to bed at a decent time.  That would be wonderful.

John and I also had our temple recommend interviews with the Stake President and one of his counselors.  Pres. Alder (the counselor) asked me to tell him about myself.  I said "we've lived here for 4 years and I have 6 kids".  That's it!!  Nothing else to tell because my entire life revolves around my husband and those six kids.(and I wouldn't have it any other way).  I had the interview and at the end he said that he has never been a mother and never will be a mother but he knows it is hard and takes it's toll.  He proceeded with "one day you will see the good results of all your mothering and teaching.  They are learning, even though at times it doesn't feel that way, they are, and you will eventually see that.  So keep up the good work" etc. etc. etc.  I, of course, began crying as he was talking and said "you knew what I needed".  He said that he felt inspired to say what he did.  I knew he was inspired when he started because the interview was over and suddenly he leaned forward and started talking in a way that I knew he was saying things he was inspired to say.  

I try to remind myself all the time that just because I don't see results right now doesn't mean they aren't learning.  I assume I was just like them as a kid (but not as great as them:) and I find it interesting how much I do things and say things that my parents did and how I am so much like my parents.  I am different in a lot of ways too but I do see how my parents efforts eventually got through to me.

This post was going to just be about little John's project but has turned into much more.  I'm grateful to be a mother and grateful that every day I am trying to learn more and do better.  Even though I seem to fall backwards WAY too often, I hope and pray I'm still moving steps forward.

i want i want i want

I'm blessed and I know I'm being a baby with my wants at the moment.

My want for a clean house.

My want for a moment of quiet in my house.

My want for a decent camera.

My want for my children to not need to be yelled at or begged to do the simple things they know they need to do EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. 

My want for just one meal to turn out good and everyone enjoy it.  (lost that when I had Leah and never came back).

My want to have little kids in bed at 8.  Bigger kids in bed at 9.  ME in bed at 10.  Sounds lovely.

My want to just be happy and not want so many things. 

Guess I'll leave my pity party and get to work.  That's the cure for the wants, right?

We took our own family pictures in front of our tree.  Right where I wanted our family picture.  In our home in front of our tree.  We looked great.  All 8 of us.  But the color wasn't right.  So we went to my mom's to have her take a picture in front of our tree.  There ended up being ONE decent picture but it happened to be taken on John's cell phone and wasn't very good quality.  So I turned on the camera today to get the one good picture to send to Leslie to see if she could fix the color.  ALL THE PICTURES ARE GONE.  All the pictures from the last couple years.  We haven't really used the camera in over a year.  We just take all pictures on the phones and I guess it ran out of space so someone deleted everything.  Awesome.  Think I can bite my tongue and not worry about it?  We'll see.  I often tell myself to bite my tongue then I say stupid things anyway.

My worry is that Leah's birth, etc. may even have been on that camera.  My own fault for not downloading the pictures, I know.  We just haven't used it in so long that I just didn't think about it.

On another note, I LOVE getting Christmas cards in the mail.  I LOVE IT!!!  It makes me happy and makes me want to do a Christmas card.  I also have a new found love this year:  GETTING PACKAGES!  I've never done online shopping before this year and wow, it's fun!  It's fun to have the packages show up every day and it's fun to check off my list while sitting in my own home.  I LOVE IT!!!

Now as soon as I can get things wrapped, I'll be sittin pretty.  I love getting things done early and I am a lot less stressed when I know I am done with something and can enjoy the moments of every day more.  

Like getting visiting teaching done early in the month.  That's a good feeling.  That's the feeling I want with everything.  Get it done quick so I don't have it hanging over my head anymore.  

HA!  

I'm trying but it doesn't work as well as it could when I am the only one out of 8 in my home who have the desire.

Now I want to shush and stop wanting things.

focus on the good