Being a BETTER Mother......

"Being There [is] an emotional and spiritual shift, of succumbing to Being Where You Are When You Are, and Being There as much as possible. Its about crouching on the floor and getting delirious over the praying mantis your son just caught instead of perusing a fax or filling the dishwasher while he is yelling for your attention and you distractedly say over your shoulder: 'Oh , honey, isn’t that a pretty bug.' It’s about being attuned enough to notice when your kid’s eyes shine so you can make your eyes shine back.”
*Iris Krasnow

First Day of School 2009

We went to the charter school for the last three years and one week before school started decided to make a switch to the local school.

I had finished all the uniform shopping. Completely. I was done. The very next day some new thoughts popped into my mind that I had never had before. John was overseas during this but John, the kids, and I all prayed and prayed and prayed and talked and discussed and questioned. We prayed that everyone would 'know' what was the right thing to do. I knew the answer, I just couldn't understand why it was okay to leave something so good. In the end, I realized that the education at the charter school was good, like none other, but we were missing out on even more good things that we 'needed' in our lives. That the kids needed and I needed.
And I KNEW we were all going to be happier if we kept our lives here. Especially little John.

None of the kids wanted to leave the charter school. Refused. But after this week, they were convincing me that this was what we needed to do. It was a great experience for our family to go through together and a good lesson in prayer and following promptings.

So I bawled my eyes out the day I went in to withdraw and that was that. I have felt sadness a couple times as I have talked to friends and seen little John miss his friends but there has been no regret at all. That's the most wonderful thing. The three years we were at the charter school, I was continually questioning if this is where we should be. I'm not questioning anything now.

We LOVE our home. We LOVE our neighborhood, our ward, our community and we want to live our lives here. And we couldn't be happier.

Vacation with Aaron

Leslie went to visit a friend and we got to keep Aaron for a couple of nights. He was perfect. Went to bed early and great, slept all night, and played great all day. Sam likes to bully him around but Jack gets along great with him and they have fun together. One day we went to the REC. I had life jackets on Aaron, Jack, and Samuel so it worked out great.

Thanks for playing Aaron. We sure had fun having you around.

Hair cuts

My cousin Lacey is in hair school and I thought my boys deserved a good haircut before school this year so we went out there one day. She gave them great cuts and Peggy and Marv fed us a great hot dog lunch. Jolie came out with her kids and even Grandma came over to visit. After the haircuts and when it was time to leave, my kids got in the pool. I had to get to my first Young Women's activity so I left the kids and went to John's work to trade him the van for the car. I put the key under the seat in the van, locked the doors, and got out. Oops. Security had to come help. It worked and John left to go get the kids. I was late for my activity but not the only one so it worked out fine.

We went to our Bishop's ranch by Henefer to float the river, have dinner, and hang out at the campfire. It was fun.

Thank you Peggy, Marvin, and Lacey. And Preston and Levi!! It was so fun to spend some time with you!!!

Thomas Loses First Tooth

Thomas finally lost his first tooth and it came as a surprise. We was standing next to me and suddenly said "I think my tooth is loose." I looked and it was so loose it was about to come out. He hadn't noticed until "it tasted kind of salty." I was so excited and he got teary eyed because it was all so sudden. He played with it for a while then it came out!!

He decided he wanted to keep it so he put it in a bag and then lost the bag. We can't find it anywhere. After two nights, the tooth fairy left $1.00 with a note that said something like ...It's exciting to lose your first tooth and I don't want you to miss out on the excitement of it, so when you find it, put it under your pillow and I'll come back to get it.

Maybe the tooth fairy found it anyway because we can't find it anywhere.

We need families who are spiritually strong-- because they are morally strong-- courageous, honest and virtuous.
We need families who are spiritually strong --because they do what righteous men and women always do in difficult situations–they do what is the right! Not the convenient nor the popular–and certainly not the politically correct. Spiritually strong families do what is right!
We need families who are spiritually strong because they are comprised of husbands and wives and children of noble character—trustworthy, relentless in their pursuit of truth and of all that is good in the world. We need families who are undaunted in their efforts to lift and love others. Simply stated: We need families who are spiritually strong because they are filled with faith in God!
Henry B. Eyring said:
"As the forces around us increase in intensity, whatever spiritual strength was once sufficient, won't be enough."

The entire talk can be found here:
http://www.ldschurchnews.com/articles/57745/Wendy-Watson-Nelson-Not-Even-Once.html

Big, Gross, but cool, Bug

John was letting Max out the other night and stood out on the back porch when suddenly this thing flew up onto the porch next to him. It was HUGE.

Oh the joys of our country life.

(I know it isn't really the country, but it sure feels like it.)

Brownies

I walked into the kitchen after school and found Thomas and Jack on their stomachs looking through my cookbook. They saw the word "Brownies" and decided to get to work.
(Honestly, at first I tried to stop them. One more mess I didn't need. Then I actually thought it would be fun to see how far they actually went. Ended up being a good thing.)
Next think I knew, there were two sticks of butter on the kitchen floor (in the wrapper), and a bowl, flour, and sugar on the counter. They put the cold butter in the bowl and broke 4 eggs into the bowl. Next, Thomas got out a tablespoon to spoon in some sugar. This is where I suggested John get involved.
So these four men finished off the brownies. I looked at the cookbook and saw it was our old ward's cookbook. The random brownie recipe they chose happened to be put in the cookbook by Maria and was John R.'s recipe. We couldn't be happier and THEY WERE DELICIOUS!!
Good job boys.

Canning Peaches

This is a new thing for us. We've loved having fruit trees, so far. John and I picked some of the peaches and after we dropped off the kids on the first day of school, we got to work. In two hours, we canned 16 bottles of peaches. It was fun and John insists on finishing off the tree. We also have a pear, a nectarine, and an apple tree. So I guess we need to learn how to preserve fruit and get to work.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-Marianne Williamson 'A Return to Love'

Monet's 'Wheatstacks' (End of Summer)

Summer is closing in quick. I think we've done pretty well. We've stayed pretty busy, had a couple great trips to the cabin; stayed up way too late; watched the hay get baled, twice; went swimming a few times; went to the park a few times; did away with electronics for a bit; watched the stars; played and played some more; harvested our fruit; laughed; fought; reunioned; BBQ'ed; fought some more; and loved. every. bit.

Today, my heart ached thinking of you being away from me, being in someone else's care all day, being with people other than 'us', making new friends, and all the other things that come along with growing up.

September's Friend is full of stories to remind us of all the trials that come with school. Modesty, bullying, bad language, gossiping, etc. etc. etc. It's a part of life and I'm grateful to have the reminder and guide. So remember, if you are afraid or lonely, sing primary songs, even in your mind. You can pray all day in your heart if needed. And "remember who you are". I hope I've taught you.

So my sweet ones, I love you more than you will ever know. My heart will ache at every hurt and I will rejoice in all your happiness. I am excited for this new year, new school, new friends. It will be an adventure.

"Want the secret to figuring out where your weaknesses lie? Pay close attention to your children. They will bring to you exactly the challenge that you need in order to grow into a better adult. It’s like your own personalized grown up makeover kit.
It’s true – think about the most frustrating aspect of dealing with your child right now. What drives you nuts? What gets your goat? That’s the very arena where you need to grow. There is something in that interaction between the two of you that needs to change. And chances are, changing your part in that pattern is going to stretch you like never before. Our loved ones can teach us everything we need to know about ourselves if we’ll allow our problems with them to act as our solutions." -Hal Runkel

Thank You Kelly for putting so many wonderful quotes on your blog. I love what you share.

My Front Room

The only room that stays clean long enough to get a picture. But school starts next week. Hopefully I'll be able to catch a few more clean rooms.

Backyard Bunny

This is our friendly, neighborhood bunny. He/she has spent a lot of time in our backyard but I think the dogs, Max And Sophie, chased him/her away one too many times because he/she hasn't come back in a while.

Oh the joys of farmland......I wish.

Maya Angelou once said,

"I did then what I knew how to do, and when I knew better...I did better!"

Tonight

Emily has been obsessed with watching the stars the last few days. Good timing because tonight is a meteor shower.

On our way home 'today' at 8 pm tonight, the kids started talking about watching for shooting stars tonight. I didn't tell them about the meteor shower but did tell them that everyone is going to bed when we get home. After spoiled sassiness from them, I said if anyone goes outside to watch the stars, I will lock the door behind you and see you in the morning. Wow...I am such a sweet sensitive mom.

Well, after everyone showered, ate, and brushed teeth, I thought we may as well end our day on a good note and told them about the meteor shower and we could go watch it. So they packed up their pillows and blankets and made us a nice spot on the trampoline to watch the stars. (pictures in next post) IT WAS WONDERFUL. It was the perfect way to end the day. We laid there for about an hour and saw quite a few large, beautiful shooting stars. Big enough that they couldn't be missed. We listened to the insects, watched the stars, and enjoyed each others company. We came in about 11:30 except for lil John who stayed out until midnight. Part of me wanted to just let us all fall asleep but I worried too much about getting cold, the plentiful bugs, and I'm not sure when the sprinklers go on. If I wasn't afraid myself, I'd love to be out there watching still. What a peaceful, beautiful thing. If only the roof was made of glass. Just imagine what I am missing right now.

The kids had plenty of questions about UFO's as we watched the aircraft from Hill Air Force Base, each kid went through a scared moment or two and we kept hearing reminders to make a wish.

As a big star shot across the sky and the rest of us oooed and ahhhed, Emily said out loud and fast, "I wish I had a sister." Then she giggled a little and said "oops, I didn't mean to say that out loud." She was embarassed it came out of her mouth. I thought it was a very sweet moment and a good look at the inside of her heart.

I love you Emily. At least we have each other.

Today

Today. . . Little John had his last golf tournament for the summer at Mick Riley in Murray. I woke him up at 8:00 a.m., woke up Samuel in fear that he would wake up and cause chaos while I was gone, and dropped John off at the course just in time to tee off. His first shot was okay and I was heart broken to leave him alone as there were other dads with their boys. John couldn't be there and I had lots of other little kids I needed to be with, so he went it alone. But he was fine. He always is and he loves it. He comes in close to last often but enjoys it and continues to want to golf so we keep moving forward with it. Before we know it, he's going to be a pro.
Anyway.....dropped off John at 9:00 went back home. Picked up registration forms and went to the new elementary to register the kids. They were so happy to have us and we are so happy to be there.
Next I came home, quickly got everyone ready to go pick up John and we headed out at about 10:30. We went straight to Old Navy to get a 15% discount on all the school clothes I bought yesterday. Ran into some problems and about one hour later, we left the store with $35 more and clothes that Thomas and Jack picked out for school.
We made it back to the golf course about 12:30 to pick up John and went to Wendy's to get the other kids lunch. John is fed lunch at the end of every tournament.
We headed up State Street and found Fashion Place Mall. I have all the uniforms for the charter school we were going to go to in the back of the van, so my 5 kids and I ran into the mall to return everything to Children's Place. We stopped at Hot Dog on a Stick to get an American Cheese (my favorite and I can't go to the mall without getting one), hung out in the food court for a while, played with balloons, sent everyone to the bathroom and headed out. It was a nice day because we were in no hurry for anything.
It is 1:30 now and we decided to take advantage of $2 Tuesdays at Thanksgiving Point. We called Leslie and Aaron to meet us there but when we got there, the line for the dinosaur museum wrapped around the building so Leslie led us to a park. The kids played at the park for a while but sadly I was very tired and wasn't much company for Leslie.
We left Leslie from there and the kids and I went to University Mall to see the 'Treehouse'. When we lived in Provo 5 years ago and for the previous 5 years, we would often go to the play place at the mall. It is a really neat big treehouse. Little John had great memories there and asks often when we can go there again. I knew it was a memory for him and it wasn't going to be as great as he thought, but wanted to satisfy his obsession. So we parked at the wrong end of the mall, walked through the entire mall and played at the treehouse for about an hour.

On the way out, I saw Eddie Bauer and knew they had board shorts so we made a detour. Everyone made it to the store, I thought, I found my boardshorts and as I was checking out, I noticed Thomas was no where. We left Eddie Bauer and luckily there were security guards standing around chatting. After about 3 minutes of their ridiculous questions and complete laziness, they each went a direction and I stood still, worried if I tried to go anywhere, I'd lose someone else. A couple minutes later, Thomas and his big, brown, puppy dog eyes came running to me, security guard in tow. He was smart and when he couldn't find us, he sat down on the bench to wait. So after hugs and kisses we headed out of the mall. It is now 5:30.
The next suggestion was Krispy Kreme so we went to Krispy Kreme and watched the donuts be made. We bought a box and sat down to eat our free donuts and root beer for dinner. Another bad mom moment.

After leaving, the kids suggested checking the dinosaur museum again. We made it there at 6:30 and it was not crowded. They were open until 8:00 so we bought our tickets and made our way through the museum. Jack was scared to death and after walking into the building and seeing the giant dinosaur, ran out of the building twice screaming that he won't go in there. Of course I made him come in and he asked if the dinosaur was going to roar at him. It took a good 10 minutes through the museum before he realized he was safe. He kept saying "I don't want to sit close." I'm not sure what he was thinking but assured him we would not be sitting. After one time through, Jack insisted there was a rug with dinosaurs to play with. I knew it wasn't there but to satisfy him, we started the tour for a second time telling him the entire time, there is no play place. I don't know what you saw. We were about to leave and the tears started so I followed him and lo and behold he led me straight to the playplace he knew was there. Sadly, they had just cleaned up the toys and we were out of luck. Oops. Bad mom again.
We made it out at 8:00 and Sam waved to the dinosaur on the building saying "bye dinosaur" as we walked away.

We made it to our town just in time to fill up the van with gas. When we got home and before anyone went in and there was a smidgen of light, I mowed the front lawn. Garbage day tomorrow. By the time I got in all the kids had eaten cereal. Yeah!!
I was just in time to catch John online and chat with him for a while. I somehow convinced the kids to shower and in the end told them if they'd be totally ready for bed we could go watch the stars.
I asked lil John to shower with Samuel. He did and then he dried him and put on his diaper and pajamas. I was chatting with John during this time and suddenly the two of them happily bounced in and sat on the chair next to me. I can not even tell you the relief I felt. A weight had been lifted. I hugged John and thanked him for what a great thing he just did for me. I asked him to shower Sam but he did the rest on his own. Then he started the shower for Thomas and Jack. They showered, got themselves out and dressed and ready for bed and we had a great night under the stars. Thank you John John!! Couldn't have done it tonight without you.
Everyone but John made it to bed about 11:30 and here I am at 1:00 enjoying a moment alone and hoping to have a little space in my bed tonight. I love to have the kids sleep in my bed but not when too many of them show up and I get stuck on the very edge or sandwiched in the middle and don't sleep well.

My kids are wonderful. There was very little arguing (in comparison to the rest of the summer) and we had a lot of fun together. We kind of did whatever was suggested because it was fun, there was nothing else to do and it's summer! Sadly it's almost over.
Here's to a great day and hopefully a great night's sleep!!

Beautiful

We sure love these five.

Random Cabin Moments

Making smores over the grill.

We went on rides in the truck looking for moose. Found a big bull moose a couple of times. We played games and did crafts around the table, John covered himself in dots of lotion, Thomas asked for a picture on the rock, Jack took a lot of pictures with his camera, we threw rocks in the water, and somehow in the pitch dark, we got a photo of all 7 of us watching for the space station in the beautiful, star ridden, night sky.