What I learned this summer

What I didn't learn is a huge topic for another day.

Not signing up for extra city rec stuff was the best decision ever.  Every day seemed to be filled without anything extra.  I don't know how that happens but somehow with six kids and two parents, every day has plenty to do.
The first couple months went great.  We stayed busy, we did jobs, we played, we vacationed, and it was wonderful. 
I learned that if we want to swim then we should go swim.  If we want to watch a movie, then we'll watch a movie.  and so on and so on.  The point being to be together and enjoy our time.
I had a great plan.  I read a lot, looked at others systems, then took bits and pieces from what I liked and came up with my own.  I had an entire calendar spelled out and ready for the summer.  The work the kids would do and how they would earn money.  I was super confident about this plan and it honestly is a great system.  Just not for our family.  We seem to not work as well when everything is scheduled out.  Instead what I learned was to make a list every morning of the things that need done that day.  Without any prompting from me, the kids wrote their name next to the job then got to work doing it.  It really was amazing to see how well that worked and it has become our new system.  Without pay.  If they need money, I have a list of jobs I don't want to do or never get to that they can earn money doing.  They can choose how important that money is to them by how much they want to work.
I learned that the 10-20-70 money system is the best thing out there.  We made envelopes and a chart for each kid to put in their envelope.  Every time they earned money, 10% went to tithing, 20% went to mission/college/marriage savings, in other words, long term savings, and 70% went to spending.  This is the money they have to figure out.  Money they would spend on whatever and money they need to save for short term savings for things they want.  LOVE THIS SYSTEM.  I just need to get myself on it now.
I learned that my kids can work hard.  I haven't seen it before like I saw it this summer.  I saw responsibility in them that I haven't seen before.  I found out that if they want something bad enough, they can work hard and they really can clean.  That is a wonderful feeling for a mom. 
I saw my kids be kind to others, make new friends, be charitable and kind and happy and helpful.
I also saw the complete opposite of that in our home.
This is the part where I learned that summer is wonderful and a long summer is meant for families on a farm when the children's hands are needed to work at home.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE that we had extra time this summer.  It has not been one day too long for me.  But I have seen that it went too long for the kids.  After the first couple of months and all the wonderful time that was had, August came and it went downhill fast.  Video games were rampant, everyone gave up on helping and doing jobs, the fighting.  Oh the fighting was BAD.  I went downhill.  I stopped walking/running, I just wanted to stay in bed all morning, I didn't have it in me to referee and make people work.  So for about two weeks, we failed. 
This last week of summer, I've picked back up.  We're back to jobs and no video games and we've gotten out of the house to play and we're back to enjoying ourselves.
I think the summer was long enough that the kids are now looking forward to going back to school.  Emily has been looking forward to it since the beginning of July.
Another thing I learned is to shop early.  We went to the outlets over the 4th of July weekend when everything was on sale and we school shopped.  We did everything that we could that weekend and made a list of what we still needed.  We quickly got those last few things and were done by August.  When school supplies came out for cheap, we bought them immediately.  Can I tell you how nice it has been to not even think about things we HAVE to do to be ready for school.
This is my plan every year for Christmas as well and since it went so well for school and my husband saw that, maybe we'll be able to do the same for Christmas.
I already knew I hate TV but I've learned that my kids like it loud and I CAN'T STAND A LOUD TV.

I learned that I can not get my laundry done EVER when all my kids are home.
And I learned that my kitchen will not stay clean if I don't have some control over WHEN we eat. It would be wonderful to be able to OPEN and CLOSE the kitchen. I'll have to work on that one.

Finally, I learned how much I love my kids.  How much I love to be with them.  How fast they really are growing and that time will go on and they'll keep growing up no matter what I do.  I already knew this stuff.  I was just reminded to step it up and be better.  A continual effort for me and I'm a slow learner.

I miss 'little' John.  I would love to go back and sit in the rocking chair and rock him with his white blanky and sippy cup.  The way I do with Leah now.  I want to hold him and cuddle him again.  Now he's as tall as me and my heart aches at the thought of that little boy that I miss.  I have the same thoughts about Emily. 
And even though my heart aches sometimes with what I miss, I love that they are my friends.  That we laugh and talk and I can ask their opinions on things and we have a new kind of relationship.  They are fun to be with.  I CAN'T waste any moment with my kids.  And in the moment, it can be so hard sometimes.  How do I keep control of myself?!  Let the hard stuff go and soak up the good stuff more?

I look in my kids faces sometimes and am amazed at what I see.  Things pause for a moment.  I am amazed at who they are and that they are mine. I see the good things they do, the way they care about others and I feel my heart swell.

I am blessed.  I am thankful that summer gives me the time to see them, who they are, and who they are becoming.

Leah has every one of us wrapped around her little finger and she knows how to throw a fit.
Sam has new freckles that I LOVE to look at.
Jack has a "smart" mouth and pushes buttons.
Thomas likes to mind his own business.
Emily knows how to clean.
John teases EVERYONE.
The dad.....he continues to help with everything and tries to keep me sane.
Me? I'm just lucky to get to have all of these people in my life.

On to fall!!!

One thing I am grateful for

It ALWAYS works out.

It gets confusing and we don't have all the answers.

But with time, it ALWAYS works out right.

As long as we are doing our part.

Heaven help me!  :)

School?

One month ago, we were enjoying a wonderful vacation in the mountains of Oakley.

We never fish but decided this was the trip to give it a shot.

So we fished almost every day.

Our first day down to the river, there was a family fishing.  A mom, a dad, a son, a daughter.

I thought about this family.  Wondered about them.

Then she asked where I was from.

I said Centerville.

She said I guessed you would be from Farmington or Centerville because of how many kids you have.

Interesting, I thought.

I asked where she is from.

Same town.

In fact, she is in the south end of our stake.

We are in the north end of our stake.

She's had 9 miscarriages and was pregnant again.

11 weeks.

Hoping this one would last.

While the men and kids fished, we talked.

Turns out her kids are in the Chinese Emmersion program at the school just south of us.

When we bought our house, we were looking at a different house that was in the boundaries of that school.

We felt it was inspired and was perfect for our family to be at that school.

Then we found the house we bought.

IT was the right house.

We were going to a charter school at the time and loved it.  We planned to stay and got ready for another year at Legacy.

Until one week before school started.  And we knew.

We knew how much we love our neighborhood and our ward and the people and we knew we needed and wanted to go to school with these people.  So we made the switch.

For 3 years, I have made calls and sent emails randomly to the chinese emmersion school.  Asking questions.  Not sure but comfortable where we were.

I tried during Jack's 2nd grade year to get him in.  We felt like he needed to work his mind a little more.  But there were no openings.

I requested teachers for this coming year.  Wonderful teachers.  And they got these teachers.

So this girl at the river said she has a friend with a 3rd grader in the program.  Her 1st grader is doing awesome but her 3rd grader is struggling.  He is smart but he just wasn't getting Chinese.  She wanted to pull him out but was hoping to find someone to fill his spot.

The principal is hard to work with.  I learned that through my emails with her.  So this girl was nervous to take him out of the program.

We got home from the cabin and I got a phone call from the other girl.

She said she had been praying for a child with chinese in the home that could fill her sons spot.

She knew they don't take anyone after 2nd grade and justified it by saying that they technically aren't 3rd graders yet.

You sign a contract when you get into the chinese program that you will stick with it all through elementary.  Even if your child isn't doing well.  That is why it was a hard thing for this girl and why she was hoping to find someone to fill her sons spot.

She said she had told ONLY ONE person that she was thinking of taking her son out of the program and was hoping to find someone.  It was the girl at the river.  On our vacation.

She said we were an answer to her prayers.

I asked her how she got my name and number.  She said the girl at the river remembered which street I lived on so she drove over here, found someone outside and asked them if there was a family with six kids and the dad speaks chinese.  She was given our name and number to pass on to this other girl.

So three weeks ago, it all began.  And we've been waiting.  And praying.  A LOT.  We've been to the temple over this.  And there can be no real answer until we hear what the principal decides.

We don't know what to think.  We love our school.  We are comfortable there.  But this is weird and we don't know if it is just coincidence.....but not really.....we feel it was inspiration.  On the part of many.  We are moving forward with what we FEEL we should be doing.  It has not been easy.

I took Jack and Sam to the school to see it and talk to the principal.  She was just as I had already thought she was.  Not easy to work with. 

I told her I won't bug her anymore but had to follow up on this because it was just too strange to ignore.

So we waited.

John sent her an email on Friday.  She replied that she doesn't have any information and she will get back to us.

Sam is excited at the thought of going to "his chinese school".  But he also is excited that he will be in Mrs. C's morning class too.  We think, he thinks, he'll be doing both.

Jack was excited but as time has gone on, he doesn't want to go to the chinese school.

We are praying that if it is where he is suppose to be, his heart will be softened.

We are praying that if Heavenly Father has a purpose for them and the chinese school is a part of that plan, then we will know this is what is needed.

If it's just for fun, we decided we will stick where we are.

So we wait.

And miss the call.

And wait some more.


Finally.
John emailed for her to call his cell phone and she did.
She talked to Jack's principal, his teacher, and saw his test scores.  She is impressed and he is at the top.  She also talked to the director of the french emersion program.  They let a third grader in to the program and they were so far behind, it was really hard.  On the student and the teacher.  They strongly recommended against it.  So they are not letting Jack into the program.
John felt a little disappointment.  I felt relief.  The longer it went on the more I worried about it and I knew it would be a really hard year for Jack.  But I was willing to do whatever was the right thing to do.  Thankfully, we don't have to worry any more about Jack and the program and get to enjoy the teacher we love at his school.

Sam is on the waiting list and has been for several months.  We don't know what will happen with that.  We will just move forward with him going to his school unless we hear different.

So what was all of this about?  Why, when we were happy with the way things were, did this come up and turn everything in circles for the last few weeks.  There has been so much prayer and thought put into this.
We don't know the answer.  We don't know if we were being tested in obedience.  Or maybe Sam will get in and we needed to have this many thoughts and feelings over it to make a decision for him.  Maybe the lady with the 3rd grader that she took out of the program needed the comfort of having a backup just to do what was right for her and her son. 
We don't know.  Maybe we'll find a reason.  Maybe we won't.  But we do know that we pursued what we felt was being thrown at us to pursue and the lesson from it is bound to show up.  Right?

The Call

We've been waiting for the call for 3 weeks. 

I keep telling myself I am being tested. 

My patience is being tested.  

I'm doing well.

Every time the phone rings, I jump. 

I don't want to miss the call that will help us know where our kids will be going to school in two weeks.

Tonight the call came.

Another story:

John put off calling Comcast for one month. 

Tonight he finally made the call. 

Someone beeped in but he was on an important call so he didn't answer.

It was the call we've been waiting for.

And we missed it.

(even worse, it was a waste of time call with Comcast because they did nothing to help us)

Ouch.

Why does it work this way?

Because I am suppose to be pushed and tested even more?

John said "just 12 more hours".  It sounded like a death sentence for a moment.

It's going to be a LONG night.

 

Provo Seven Peaks

We told our kids we would go to 7 peaks in Provo once this summer. We have two Saturdays left before they close so instead of cleaning out our house as planned, we left early this morning and enjoyed a beautiful day swimming.
Ryan, Laura, their girls, and Laura's mom came down to join us. We loved having them with us and felt bad leaving them there.
Yeah for summer!! Two more weeks.

13

Happy Birthday to this beautiful girl!!

Cake and ice cream with the family.  After dinner.

On our way out the door to dinner.  She chose Buca de beppo.  She heard they have fettucini.

Cute.  I had to get her sister in the background.  They adore each other.

No birthday dessert.  You just get sung to and get to blow out the candles on this candlestick.

Just a random picture John shot.  Emily was dumping the crumbs off her placemat and I was reading something on mine that John was talking about.



The man who pays for everything.  He was explaining something very important to me here.

Oh I love these kids.  The boys were sweet to her today.  I am thankful.



With the birthday signs made by the boys.  I usually have to beg this girl to just smile for the camera.

Emily is 13.  My lucky number. 

1.  She is spunky and fun.

2.  She is good to her brothers and takes really good care of Leah.

3.  She loves music and knows the words to so many songs I've never even heard.

(Last night I dreamt we were listening to the Beatles and she was memorizing the words and singing along as she was hearing the song.  I was excited she could sing along with them.)

4.  She likes to have fun and isn't silly about boys.  Oh she likes boys but she'd rather play basketball or volleyball than sit around and talk about or prank boys.

5.  She REALLY wants to do what's right and recognizes when she doesn't and is makes her sad.

6.  She is really good at apologizing.  Especially to her dad and mom.  If needed.

7.  She is wonderful at the guitar.  She can sing.  And she sits at the piano for hours every week and makes up songs.  We LOVE to listen.

8.  She loves to play sports and is the one asking the boys often to go play with her. 

9.  I think being the only girl, we get to skip a lot of the drama girls have.  Oh thank heavens!!

10.   She has a best friend and we couldn't be happier with who it is.  She makes good choices with friends and is friendly to everyone.

11.  She can't wait for school to start.  She loves to go to school.  Jr. High has been great for her so far.  She tells me things that happen during the day and I'm so glad she likes to share with me.

12.  She doesn't like swearing or inappropriate things and will call people out, politely, at school.  I've been impressed.

13.  She adds a happy and fun spirit in this home and we would be a lot more boring without her.  She is fun to be with and the older she gets the more we enjoy each other.  She is gullable(?) and it is funny.  She is encouraging and forgiving and loving and LOVES her brothers and Leah. 

We love her so much and are so grateful and blessed she is a part of our family.

Happy Birthday Emily!!!  We love and adore you!!

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience.

Life is good.

You are better than you think you are.

I know it."

from my new favorite blog.  Moss Moments.

Thanks Lisa!

Something More

Sometimes I feel like we aren't doing what we COULD be doing.

We had so many hopes and dreams when we got married and especially as we went to school.  (yes we.  John and I did that together.)

Sometimes I feel like we aren't on the right path.

But really, I don't think that.  I am just impatient.

John and I talked about this yesterday.

Everything we do in our marriage has been done with thought and prayer.  From school, moves, children and everything in between.

We KNEW we were suppose to be at BYU the first time.

We KNEW we were suppose to be at BYU the second time.  Even though we had moved back to Bountiful and were trying to get into a school in Arizona.  One week before the BYU MBA application was due, at 3 in the morning, we both KNEW.  We woke up the next morning and worked our tails off, knowing in the end where we would be.  That is how much we KNEW where we were suppose to be.

We somehow quickly got into an on campus apartment, quit John's good job, and did exactly what we knew we were suppose to be doing.

We had people telling us at the time what a mistake we were making, that we need to be content, and we would be better off staying with the postal service than continuing education.

Well, we decided to follow our promptings and direct counsel from Elder Maxwell to continue education and thank heavens we did.  If we hadn't, we would have shown Heavenly Father we weren't willing to do His will and our lives would NOT have gone on the path that has been prepared for us.

There is something about reaching your full potential and not just being content.

There were several times during the program when we KNEW the things we needed to do.  Thanks to John's dad, John interned with the church distribution center.  He was inspired to "run" for Supply Chain President which he did, he got, and it sent him to Chicago where he met people from OC Tanner.  We were willing to go anywhere in the world and tried.  But someone else knew we were suppose to stay in Salt Lake.  This is where the feeling of we could do more comes in.  Our willingness to be anywhere in the world and here we are.

(John was awarded a $10,000 Hawes Scholarship which immediatly paid down $10,000 of our debt). 

After he got the job at OC Tanner and finished school, we looked for a house.  We found 5 in Centerville that we wanted (now that we are in Centerville, all five of those homes are within 1/2 mile of where we live now.  We never knew they were so close together.  This tells us that we are right where we are suppose to be).

We didn't get any of the houses we wanted and in the end felt strong about buying the house we did.  Even though it wasn't on our list of where we wanted to live.  The house we bought was in Bountiful, in a culdesac, across from John's brother (who we bought the house from).  I loved that neighborhood and ward but struggled in some aspects and we continually did things to improve that house and buy our happiness. 

We were suppose to be in that ward.  We knew it then and we know it now.  We KNOW there was more purpose to living there than we understand.  (but we have some ideas)

One reason being, in the five years we lived there, John was on the Stake High Council, the bishopric, the Elders Quorum Presidency, and the Young Men's Presidency.  There was a lot he was suppose to learn there and there were people we needed to meet.

We KNOW we are in the house we are suppose to be in.  We were looking at a different house and by undoubtedly divine inspiration, we were led to this house.  KNOWING this is where we are suppose to be.

Sometimes we think about a smaller house payment but remember that we were inspired to be in this house and everything will work out and it is.  We are able to make all our payments and have extra, we just aren't getting out of debt as quick as we'd like.

When we had our fourth child, I struggled.  We had the first four while John was going to school full time and working full time.  It was hard.  I wasn't sure I wanted more children.  But I KNEW there were more.  So with prayer and fasting and going to the temple, we knew when it was time to have a fifth.  Halfway through the fifth pregnancy, when I was struggling, I was told, "it's okay and there is one more".  I felt peace from then on.

With more fasting, prayer, and temple attendance, we knew when it was time for number 6.

John worked 8 years at OC Tanner.  He's traveled all over the world and had A LOT of amazing experiences but we were waiting for more of the China part to come into play and it wasn't happening.  He was feeling like he wasn't reaching his full potential and wasn't heading in the direction he knew he should be and wanted to be heading.  He began the transfer to a new department.  A department that was taking him out of international work, and once again, divine guidance stepped in. 

John's old boss is in the Stake Presidency with a man who works at the church.  He had a job for John's boss but when John's boss heard the job, he said, "this job isn't for me but I have the guy for you".  John. 

John didn't want to go work for the church.  He saw that as a stop to his dreams of really working in China and making a lot of money.  He ignored the call.  He wasn't interested in pursuing it.  One day he was contacted and asked if he would at least meet with them so he did.  We decided at this point to be open to it but still knowing we didn't want to make the change.  Well as time went on, it became apparent that the job was his.  It had been open for several months, there were 60+ applicants and not one fit the bill. 

In the end, ONCE AGAIN, inspiration came and we KNEW where we were suppose to be.  And just like every other time, IT FELT GOOD. 

Our dreams of being rich, melted away.  :)

But not really because the feeling came and comes over and over again that we will be rich if we get out of debt.

Over and over I feel, "simplify and get out of debt". 

Let me tell you, with a houseful of stuff, and people, and chaos, this has not been easy.

But the feeling keeps coming.  I keep being reminded.  "SIMPLIFY AND GET OUT OF DEBT."

John has been told he will serve the community and  help it run smoothly (among other things).  Last summer without discussing it with each other, we both KNEW he needed to run for City Council. So he did.  It was a lot of work and in the end (and not that it really matters) but he came in first.  In front of the two incumbents.  Another step in the path.

John's job is going well.  He enjoys it.  Ever since he got home from his mission to Taiwan, he KNEW his ultimate goal in life was to help the church get into China.

Although he's just in purchasing, he feels there is more purpose to this job.  More than we know.

City Council is going well.  It is stressful at times.  Like right now but John is smart and will do the right things.

This path sure sounds a lot about John, doesn't it?!!  Luckily I am right where I want to be, doing exactly what I want to be doing at this time in my life.  And that is supporting John in his pursuits and support my children in theirs.  I love it and know that I am the glue to the other seven people going in all directions.

What I'm getting at I guess is that even though I am itching right now to do something MORE, I realized today, reading THIS post, that we are in the middle.  We have come far and done a lot in our first 16 years of marriage and we are just in the middle.  There is a lot ahead of us and it will be fun to see and live our lives as they keep going forward.  Heavenly Father has a plan for us.  More than we could ever imagine I'm sure.  So we'll stay on the path and take it's curves and climbs as they are presented to us. 

KNOWING in the end, no matter where we end up, that we took the path that was intended for us.

Half my family

Half my family are on their way to Oregon right now. 

Nairn and three boys caravanning along.

Leslie and son and Travis and two kids a few hours ahead.

I'm happy they are going.  In fact, I was the one to push them to do it. 

But at the same time.....I don't like it.

They are going to a Jabari Parker camp. 

I thought it would be a great father son thing to do.

First it was John, John, and Thomas because John and Thomas are doing the camp.

Nephews Nathan, David, and Matt joined and a neice Kristina.

At the last minute, Jack decided to go.

And now I'm sad.

Bored.

I miss them.

It's quiet.

I worry.

I hope they'll be safe.

Emily didn't understand why she couldn't go.

Kristina is.

We were excited for the boys to get to do their thing.

So Emily is home with me.

And I'm glad.

And she's fine. 

She understands.

Emily has her yearly interview with the bishop.

Leah will go to bed.

I'll clean the house and get us packed and we'll go enjoy some time at the cabin.

Then we will all come home.

And life will be better.

I am excited and glad they are going and I know they will have a great time.

I just like it when we're together.

Tonsils Times Two

At the end of June, Thomas and Jack went under the knife.  One right after the other.  They laid around for about 10 days and were quiet. It was nice.

It was nice to have them get better too. Jacks voice box was looked at. It had a small cyst or something. Can't remember exactly.

Love these boys!!

Starting him young

By his choice. Cute kid.

Just for fun

Love this kid!